If you join my online class I CHOOSE YOU, which is available now and always because the class is pre-recorded. But I’ll give you a short snippet of the lesson that I’d like for you to take home.
I’d encourage you to Google, or maybe buy a du’a book where there is the Du’a of Istikharah in it. Below is the full du’a of Istikharah:
Jabir bin Abdullah (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) used to teach us to seek Allah’s Counsel in all matters, as he used to teach us a Surah from the Qur’an. He would say: When anyone of you has an important matter to decide, let him pray two Rak’ahs other than the obligatory prayer, and then say:
O Allah, I seek the counsel of Your Knowledge, and I seek the help of Your Omnipotence, and I beseech You for Your Magnificent Grace. Surely, You are Capable and I am not. You know and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter [then mention the thing to be decided] is good for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come, – [or say: in this life and the afterlife] – then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless me in it. And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come, – [or say: in this life and the afterlife] – then distance it from me, and distance me from it, and ordain for me what is good wherever it may be, and help me to be content with it.
Whoever seeks the counsel of the Creator will not regret it and whoever seeks the advice of the believers will feel confident about his decisions.
Allah said in the Qur’an: “And consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken a decision , put your trust in Allah.”
(Al-Bukhari 7/162, and Aal-‘Imran 3:159)
So, the du’a of Istikharah is a good du’a for you to study if you want to understand what’s happening and if you want to be able to deal with not having what you want. Because that’s what rejection is, right? You don’t get what you want.
With or without the du’a of Istikharah, rejection is painful. But with du’a of Istikharah, you’ll be able to deal with it productively.
The du’a of Istikharah starts with acknowledging that you don’t know and Allah Knows Everything. That’s how it starts. It starts with putting us in our place. Because sometimes, we think we know what’s best for us. So, whenever we don’t get that thing that we think is the best for us, we get frustrated. We’re like, “Why didn’t I get it? This is the best for me.”
We think we know, but du’a of Istikharah starts with, “I don’t know. Allah, you know everything. You are the All-Knowing.” That’s how it starts and it transitions into your request. You ask Allah, “If this is good for me, for my life here and also in the Hereafter, make it easy for me. If this is bad for me, for my life here and the Hereafter, make it far away from me, make me far away from it.”
So, you have both in your du’a. Meaning, if this is good for you, you ask Allah to make it easy, to make it close. If it’s bad for you, you ask Allah to make it far away from you. So, getting rejected is maybe an answer to your Istikharah where Allah is moving that thing (or that person) far away from you. So, in a way, you should say, “Alhamdulillah, I got rejected because maybe this is answer to my Istikharah. This is what I asked for.”
So, really, if you understand Istikharah in its entirety, especially the du’a, you’ll be able to deal with rejection easier. It’s still difficult. It’s still painful. But you’ll be able to deal with it easier.
You’ll be able to move on.